5 Evidence-based ways to shift Reactions to Responses for Greater Leadership Success

We’ve all lost control of our emotional responses before through an overreaction of some kind. For some of us, that reaction may have happened today, for some of us it may have been this week or month… and for others, it may have been at some point in the last year or two.

For most of human history, the ability to react has helped humans stay safe and alive. We are biologically wired to react in certain life-or-death situations. When this happens, upon sensing a threat, the Amygdala part of our brain helps us with a flight or fight response to a situation.

But we also know that feeling fear and anxiety can kick in at home and in the workplace. So how do we find better ways to communicate and respond, when we find ourselves triggered in our daily lives? Especially when many of us have been self-taught in the art of managing our emotions.

To lead in today’s busy world, it has also become even more important to create psychological safety despite facing uncertainty and changing situations. Leaders need to learn how to lead with greater emotional awareness to improve their ability to communicate confidently and effectively and make better decisions with minimal conflict and disruption. And a key aspect of that is the ability to be able to shift from triggered reactions based on fear to thoughtful responses that promote psychological safety

Reactions happen in-the-moment. Psychological and neuroscience research tells us reactions are instinctual and with that our impulse is to react based on the emotion we feel.

Responses happen when we have the ability to connect with our ability to self-regulate our emotions-a part of our emotional intelligence, which is managed by the brain’s pre-frontal cortex and known as the executive function of our brain. The part that helps us solve complex problems. And helps us to create a plan for our goals.

When people talk about Emotional Intelligence it’s the active pre-frontal cortex of the brain that enables better thinking around our connection, communication, and the ability to act productively.

So how can leaders connect to their executive function and manage their emotional reactions better?

1) STOP IT and value the Pause: it’s through stopping and taking a long pause to let the triggered emotions calm down. You are not in the executive function of your brain at the point of feeling triggered so don’t fight it. Remind yourself that your capacity and intelligence are not the same as the emotions you feel or the voice of the part of your ego that wants to keep you safe.

Also, it's in moments of pause that our thoughts are not caught up in the past or the future. And in this mental space, it's where our mind is relaxed to connect to new ideas.

Take time out and slow down. One way to do this is through moving the body and breathing.

2) Deeper Breathing: research shows that deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which runs from the brain to the abdomen and is in charge of turning off the “fight or flight” reflex. Going for a run or finding other ways to increase deeper breathing will help to reduce thoughts and bring calm… only then can we connect to the following points:

3) Plan: Plan your long-term and short-term goals to help you become more strategic in what you spend your efforts on working towards. You can also make time to focus on the end goal of the communication. Get clear on the positive end goals and outcomes you want to achieve from the communication in relation to the outcomes you'd like to create.

4) Relational Intelligence: Make time to understand how the other person or people involved may feel and how you can influence that. What would it take to create a win-win for them and you?

5) Cultivate self-awareness and intention. Research across various projects by Professor Laurie Santos at Yale University, on the Science of Wellbeing, shows that people who take time out to journal and set intentions on how they want their interactions to go before they communicate are happier. By making time to focus our neuropathways on what we want to create, through writing and mental visualisation we can also become clearer on what we don’t want. We can then re-wire our brains to practice thinking and planning what we want to think.

Through repetitive practices of checking in on our goals each day both inside and outside of work, when we are triggered, we can more easily remind ourselves to connect with the goals and focus that the executive function of our brain has helped us to remember.

The other way is to verbally express your emotions to help you acknowledge how you feel in certain situations. In that way you can plan that when you find yourself behaving like X you will do Y.

A Person's Emotional intelligence levels, like traditionally measured IQ intelligence, is unique but managing emotions, reactions, and responses are behaviours that can be taught and learned through encouragement, discipline, accountability, and practice. Those behaviours can be further cultivated through collective workplace cultures and behaviours for greater collaborative growth based on shared values. 

If you are curious to learn more about how you or your teams can be better supported for positive behavioural change and growth to create greater focus, better communication, and results then please do reach out for a conversation.

Leadership Coaching Questions to help keep your Executive brain function more focused

1)   What’s the biggest work or personal goal or desire right now that motivates you for the next year?

2)   What are the 3 biggest benefits that moving towards that goal will help you (and others) with?

3)   How will you serve yourself today?

4)   How will you serve your team and your clients today for mutual success?

5)   How will you serve your family today?